Patrick Vieira is back in the Premier League, but if this namby pamby state we live in has anything to do with it, he'll have to wait until it's deemed safe to walk the streets without a woolly scarf and a pair of thermal gloves to make his debut.
The adverse weather has wreaked havoc with this weekend's sporting schedule, and while it's harsh to expect a four-year-old novice to slide its way across frozen turf and clear the fences at Fontwell, it's more than a tad frustrating to see Premier League football clubs calling off their fixtures because of safety fears.
Had the snow and ice deemed playing surfaces too dangerous, you'd hold your hands up and say "fair play God, Saturday sale shopping with missus it is" but that's not the case at Fulham and Liverpool, nor was it the case at Arsenal in midweek - is it too much to suggest something slightly sinister is afoot?
Arsene Wenger's side were due to play the game in hand they've held over their immediate rivals since August on Wednesday, but despite the efforts of the gritters (random thought, but what does a gritter for the 50 weeks of the year when snow and ice isn't an issue?) some safety bod decided the surrounding areas were unsafe, while there were also concerns that fans relying on public transport might be letdown by London's undergound system.
Did said safety bod consider the fact that London's commuters expect nothing more than constant disappointment even in times of glorious sunshine? Probably not, and in any case, at 21.45, when roughly 60,000 fans were due to exit Emirates Stadium, Transport For London's website stated there were no delays on any of the underground lines.
In Arsenal's defence, they did everything they could to get the game on, and other than the outside possibility of Arsene Wenger preferring to play Bolton at a time when he would be able to call upon Alex Song, Cesc Fabregas and Nicklas Bendtner, there was no reason for the club to want to postpone the fixture on football grounds.
Could the same be said for Fulham and Liverpool this weekend?
The Cottagers suffered two damaging injuries during Tuesday's 3-2 defeat at Stoke with Brede Hangeland limping off and Bobby Zamora's season now in tatters following a broken collar bone. Would it be churlish to suggest that Roy Hodgson fancied an extra week off in order to find suitable replacements for his most commanding defender and most influential striker?
Certainly the fans who braved the less than arctic conditions to congregate outside Craven Cottage and offer their opinions on Sky Sports News this afternoon seemed somewhat surprised to learn that tomorrow's match against Portsmouth was off. As a side issue, you had to laugh at the bloke who'd flown round the world specifically to watch Mark Schwarzer in action.
Word of advice, if you are going to embark on a spot of globetrotting hoping to see your favourite Socceroo do anything more than shielding his eyes from low sunshine, make sure Portsmouth aren't the visitors to west London first.
If that seems odd, then what on earth are Liverpool doing postponing their match against Spurs a full 48 hours before kick-off? Has Merseyside turned into some sort of Narnia? Is it so cold and treacherous up there that fans would be forced to huddle together 'March of the Penguins' style in order to make it to Anfield safely? Highly doubtful.
Interestingly, roughly 100 miles away and Birmingham, currently on an 11 match unbeaten run and sensing an ideal opportunity to cause an upset against wobbling Manchester United, have managed to get their game on, while Wigan, whose DW Stadium is about 30 minutes down the road from Anfield, will play host to Aston Villa tomorrow.
Could it be that Liverpool, who look likely to possess a radically re-shaped squad by the end of the month, would prefer to face upwardly mobile Spurs, a direct rival for fourth place, with Maxi Rodriguez and potentially several other new faces on board?
Hiding behind fears for the safety of fans certainly provided the club with the ideal opportunity to put that idea into practise, and interestingly in this case, it was Liverpool who made the first move in seeking advice from the police.
Either way it's a pretty pathetic state of affairs when you consider that over in America, the land of the lawsuit, never has an NFL match been called off due to inclement weather, and believe me, they get plenty of that.
As Wenger said in his Friday press conference: "It is the price we pay for living in a society where everybody wants 100 per cent security."
More is the pity.
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Don't want to seem unduly partisan but the roads of Liverpool are 100% treacherous sheet ice. The council ran out of grit on Thursday and apparently has no plans to buy more, so it probably was a decision based purely on health and safety grounds and nowt to do with gaining us a valuable footballing advantage. Ahem.
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